


Matchmaker Glanni

by Dinolad



Series: The Dork Brigade [1]
Category: LazyTown
Genre: M/M, They are all children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 10:50:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10275545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dinolad/pseuds/Dinolad
Summary: Glanni decides he’s tired of all this bullshit.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Betaed by Crimson_Hope
> 
> also for some reason when I first uploaded this it didn't upload all of it so the first 3 ppl might have missed the end. Like it just cut off at "What"
> 
> Magnús Scheving is the owner of Lazytown and its characters. Company bought by Turner Broadcasting in 2011.

“What are you intentions with my brother?” Sportacus looked up toward the unfamiliar voice to find a tall man with black hair.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Sportacus asked, wondering why he had not heard the strangers approach.

“Glanni! Surely my pumpkin has mentioned me.” Sportacus shakes his head.

“Pumpkin?” He ask, tilting his head to the side.

“Robbie.” Glanni said, arms spreading wide.

“Oh, you do look like him, I didn’t know he had a brother.” Glanni squeaked in indignation.

“Oh that little brat is gonna get it”

“Wait! Robbie wouldn’t have told me because he doesn’t really talk to me. Please don’t be angry with him.” Glanni seemed to consider this.

“He doesn’t talk to you?” Glanni asked slowly, examining Sportacus.

“Not really…” Sportacus said, shifting on the balls of his feet nervously.

“Do you try?” He asked, Sportacus nodded. “Hum, that’s odd.”

“Is it?”

“Yes.”

“…Why?” Sportacus asked, eyeing Glanni skeptically. 

“Don’t worry about that right now honey, I gotta go.” Glanni snapped his fingers and vanished in a puff of smoke.

~

Glanni poofed into Robbie’s lair to find him huddled on his fluffy chair with a large slice of cake.

“You might want to hold off a bit you’re getting a little pudgy in the stomach, muffin.” Glanni said, high heels clicking on the hard floor.

“Glanni! Have you ever heard of knocking?!” Robbie yelled, bringing his leg’s up to cover his stomach and putting his cake on his side table

“I have, tried it too. Not really my thing.” Robbie pouted at him.

“I’m not getting pudgy.” He mumbled, frowning at the orange fluff of his chair.

“You are. So, I ran into your elf, the one you keep talking to me about.” Glanni said, picking invisible debris from his shirt.

“What! What did you do?”

“Nothing, but, I found out you don’t talk to him, despite him trying.” Robbie blushed, crossing his arms. “Look, how do you expect him to fall in love with you if you don’t even talk to him?”

“I don’t.”

“What?!”

“He’d never like me so there’s no point trying.” Robbie said, crossing his arms and pouting.

“Oh, cupcake, you’re lovely, he’d be lucky to have you.”

“No, I’m pudgy.”

“Right, I walked into that. Well maybe he likes the tummy thing.”

“Please shut up.” Robbie said, covering his blush with his hand.

“What a way to talk to your brother.”

“You’re one to talk.”

“Fine. You stay here and be grumpy, I have work to do.”

“No, wait-“ Robbie yelled as his brother poofed away.

~

Sportacus landed on his knees, gritting his teeth to keep from yelling when the strange man, Glanni, materialized out of thin air again. Glittery orange smoke fading into nothing.

“Hello,” Glanni smiled down at him.

“Um, hi.” Sportacus jumped up to his feet.

“How do you feel about pudgy men?” Glanni asked, running a hand up Sportacus’ arm.

“Excuse me?”

“Do you like men with stomachs?”

“Doesn’t …doesn’t everyone have a stomach?” Glanni sighed, rolling his eyes.

“No, I mean yes but I’m talking about stomach fat.” Glanni waved his arms about. Sportacus blushed, an image of Robbie’s stomach coming to mind.

“It wouldn’t bother me…”

“It wouldn’t bother you?” Glanni repeated as Sportacus’ face flushing dark red. “You’re turning red. There’s more?” Sportacus muttered, eyes cast down. “Speak up.”

“I mean. It’s cute.” Sportacus said a little louder to the ground, he felt like he was on fire.

“Lovely. You know, my brother is quite pudgy.”

“O-oh?” Sportacus looked over to the center of town, adverting his eyes from the tall, intense man.

“Yes. He’s a little grumpy but I think that would be good to counter all this,” Glanni motioned at Sportacus as a whole, “Happy sunshine thing you got going.”

“You think I should…”

“Yes, date Robbie.”

“Robbie hates me.” Sportacus said, looking back at Glanni.

“Does he now?”

“I…I thought he did…” Fussing with the hem of his shirt.

“Go to his lair tonight, seven pm, bring purple Asters.”

“But those-“

“Mean love, yes. Problem?”

“No.” Sportacus muttered, looking down at the ground. It wasn’t very interesting and he was growing tired of looking at it.

“Good. I’ll stab you if you in your sleep if you don’t show up.”

“Okay.” Sportacus face turned white.

“Okay, bye sweetie.” And he was gone.

~

“Good news.” Glanni announces as he materialized behind Robbie’s chair, causing him to leap to his feet.

“You’re going to give me a heart attack!”

“No, well maybe. Sportacus is coming over at seven.”

“What? Why?” Robbie turned to Glanni, arms flapping about.

“Also, he likes your tummy.” Glanni winked at him.

“Glanni, what did you **do**?!”

“Don’t worry about it.” Glanni dismissed with a wave of his hand. Robbie sputtered at him.

“Why do you do these things to me?”

“Because I love you kit-kat.” Robbie’s nose twitched.

“He’s not going to show up.” He grumbled, crossing his arms and hunching his shoulder.

“Oooh, he will.” Glanni laughed. “So I guess go grab some of that nasty fruit or something.”

“I can’t believe you! No, wait I can.” Robber let himself fall back into his chair.

“You should also shower. You should have seen his face when he was thinking about your stomach.” Robbie’s cheeks heated.

“What do you mean?” he asked carefully.

“He was as red as a rose. He said it was “cute”. Also his fingers kept twitching like he was thinking about touching something.” Robbie started at the floor contemplating this new information. “Talk to him. What will it hurt?”

“My fragile sensibilities?” Glanni scoffed. “Fine. I’ll talk to him, now leave me alone.”

“You don’t want help getting ready?” Glanni asked incredulously.

“No.”

“Well I’m going to help anyway.” Glanni said, going over to look through Robbie’s outfits.

“Glanni, I’d rather not make a big deal about this. I’d just make us both unconfutable.” Robbie insisted. Glanni sighed dramatically.

“Fine.” He snapped his fingers and was gone.

~

Sportacus steeled himself outside of Robbie lair, flowers in hand. Truthfully, yes, he was nervous but he was also excited. He was going to get to hang out with Robbie. Hopefully this would go well, maybe even they could be friends. And if he was really lucky maybe more. Sportacus knocked on the hatch and waited.

“Who’s there?” Came Robbie’s shaky voice.

“Sportacus.” He chirped.

“Right. Come down then.” Sportacus smiled and open the hatch, jumping down while protecting the flowers. When he landed he found Robbie nervously tapping his foot and hand, sitting in his fluffy chair. “Hello.”

“Hi Robbie!” Sportacus said, cheeks burning as he shoved the flowers out in front of him. “I got you these.” Robbie took them, trying not to touch Sportacus’ but accidently grazing his fingers.

“There, um, nice... My favorite actually.” Robbie smelled the large bouquet.

“I picked them.” Sportacus beamed.

“From where?”

“Miss Busybody’s garden.”

“Sportacus, those are her flowers.” Sportacus laughed.

“People can’t own flowers Robbie.” Robbie smiled, hiding it behind the flowers.

“Okay Sportadoof. I don’t really have a lot of places for guest but my chair is really big…” Robbie mumbled, getting up to put the flowers in water. Sportacus perched himself on one large arm rest. “I, uh, I have natural juice if you’re thirsty.” Sportacus straightened in his chair.

“Really? Sure Robbie I’d love some.” Robbie came over with two glasses, handing one to Sportacus. “I didn’t know you-“

“I have soda, the juice was bought for you.”

“Oh, well thank you Robbie.” Sportacus said, taking a drink to hide his disappointed frown. It would not do any good to lecture Robbie right now.

“Is it okay?”

“Yes, thank you.” Robbie laughed.

“You said that already.”

“Oh, right.” They lapsed into a silence. Robbie sitting in his chair inches form brushing up to Sportacus’ side, aware of the heat coming from the coiled muscles. As his mind started to wander but he caught himself, swallowing his drink as fast as he could and almost choking, sputter for air.

“Robbie! Are you okay?” Sportacus asked, hand hovering an inch from the tall man’s back as he leaned forward in his chair.

“Fine.” He strained out, tears biting the corners of his eyes. They lapsed back into silence. “You. You usually talk more.” Robbie offered. Sportacus ran his fingers along the rim of his cup.

“Yes. I’m sorry. I’m just nervous.”

“Why?”

“Your brother said he’d stab me if I didn’t come so I’m worried about what he’d do if I said the wrong thing.” An angry growled started at the base of Robbie’s throat and worked its way past his lips. The noise went straight to Sportacus’ groin.

“That diva brat! He’s not going to touch you, oh no, that’s my job!” Both their eyes went wide, turning to one another. “Wait! I didn-“

“You want to touch me?” Sportacus asked, face flushing and spreading down his neck.

“Ew, I’d never touch you Sportagross!” Sportacus looked down at his lap, playing with his hands. “That came out wrong.” Robbie admitted.

“No, it’s okay Robbie. I know you don’t like me.”

“Gods, you look like a kicked puppy.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“No, just, listen. I’m not good at talking.” Sportacus stared at him, expression incredulous. “I mean, yes okay, I’m good at talking. I can be very articulate, but not when it comes to… stuff.” Sportacus cocked his head in question.

“I don’t understand.”

“Do I have to spell it out for you?”

“I’m sorry Robbie, my English isn’t always so good…But I guess that would help.”

“Feelings! I can’t talk about feeling!”

“You. Do you have them? For me?”

“Of course I do Sportadope. Everyone has a type of feeling about someone.”

“But, what type of feeling do you have for me?” Robbie blanked. “Bad ones?” Robbie just started at the elf who decided to jump off the arm rest and pace. “I knew it. Your brother was just messing with me. Poor little love sick elf. Well this was a good plan Robbie, because I really do feel like leaving now.”

“Leaving?” Robbie asked quietly.

“Yes, that’s what you want right? For me to leave forever? Humiliate Sportacus and he’ll run away with his tail between his legs. Well, guess what? Humiliation might not be enough to make me leave but this feeling is. The kids don’t really need me anymore. They’re old enough now and eat healthy and are active. I had only been stalling. I didn’t want to leave because…”

“Why?”

“Because I had hope. That maybe you’d come around. Maybe you’d want to be my friend…or more.” Sportacus deflated, stopping his pacing and hanging his head.

“M-more?!” Robbie squeaked.

“I’ll leave.” Sportacus said, heading for the later.

“W-wait!” Robbie jumped up, stumbling over his feet as he hurried to the elf, letting himself fall against his back. Sportacus stopped when he felt long arms wrap around him. “Please, I’m sorry.” Robbie voice came muffled, face pressed between the short man’s shoulder blades. Sportacus took a moment to marvel at Robbie’s ability to make himself seem smaller before slowly bringing a hand up to cover one of Robbie’s, which were splayed across his stomach and abdomen.

“Robbie?” Sportacus’ voice shook.

“I wasn’t ready. Glanni is a jerk and told me you were coming. I-I didn’t want to talk. I wanted to hide in my lair and I still do but-but I don’t want you to leave.”

“You don’t?”

“No, not anymore. Please don’t leave me. I-I mean us, Lazytown.” A smile spread across Sportacus’ face.

“Robbie, I won’t leave if you want me to stay.”

“R-really? Just like that?” Sportacus laughed merrily, the sound sending butterfly through Robbie’s stomach.

“Just like that.” Sportacus turned in his arms, Robbie straighten at the loss of his head rest, and looked up into the tall man’s gray eyes.

“That’s a smile…” Robbie said slowly leaning in.

“It’s for you.” Sportacus responded, slowly closing his eyes.

Their lips just barely brushed when they heard a poof sound. Robbie jumped and turned towards the offending noise, leaving a confused and disappointed Sportacus.

“ **What** are you doing here?” Robbie demanded.

“Is that any way to greet me, creamsicle?”

“Answer.” Robbie demanded.

“Well, since you two are together now, I get to do the ‘shovel talk’.” Glanni beamed. “I love the shovel talk.”

“No. Absolutely not!”

“You’re no fun. But really,” Glanni said, looking over to Sportacus, “I will break you.” The elf paled.

“Glanni!” Robbie yelled and stomped his foot.

“I would never” Sportacus tried to defend himself.

“He’s a hero, he’s not going to hurt anyone!” Robbie added.

“Unless you want it rough.” Glanni smirked.

“Glanni!” Robbie gritted though his teeth.

“What?” Sportacus asked, face heating.

“You know, rough sex. Tie ‘em up and stuff.” Glanni said, waving his hand around.

“Oh. “ Sportacus’ face was so hot he felt dizzy.

“Glanni, don’t corrupt him!” Robbie yelled. Glanni smiled, chin resting in his hand as he tapped his cheek with his finger.

“I don’t think I have to.” Glanni said with a smugness that irked Robbie.

“What?” Robbie snapped.

“Look at the bright cherry over there.” Robbie turned to look at Sportacus, eyes going wide. “The little virgin likes the sound of it. So, Sweetie, would you be the one tying or being tied?”

“Glanni leave him alone, he’s going to faint!”

“He’s probably thought about it. Up in his air ship all alone.”

“Glanni, I do not want to hear this coming from your mouth.”

“You’re no fun.” Glanni whined.

“Can you leave!?”

“Fine, enjoy your rough sex.” Glanni stopped before poofing away.

“He needs to stop that…” Sportacus muttered.

“I can attempt to install anti transportation wards and lock the door.” Robbie offered.

“That would help. I’m not going to take my clothes off in here until I can be sure he’s not going to poof in.”

“You-you’d want to be naked in here?” Robbie stuttered. Sportacus turned red again, he was sure all this blushing wasn’t good for him.

“I mean-I –yes?”

“Okay. I mean, maybe later, but yes.” Robbie pulled Sportacus closer to him by his vest. “So, how would you feel about me kissing you?”

“That would be a thing we can do.” Sportacus answered, looking up at Robbie’s face. The tall man hummed.

“Good.”

**Author's Note:**

> nsfw
> 
> Notes:  
> Deleted-  
> Glanni: “He’s probably nice and loud as he sits in his shower, not wanting to get his bed dirty, just hesitating on touching his most dark, private areas but never quite working up the nerve so resigning himself to a quick wank. Shame replacing pleasure as he watches the evidence wash down the drain-“
> 
> Sportacus: “Have you been in my ship!?”
> 
> Glanni: “Maybe…”
> 
> Robbie: “Glanni!”


End file.
